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CHAPTER SEVEN

AT THE RECEPTION
Making Your Day Perfect
So you've hired the perfect DJ and now you are ready for the reception! I'm going to start at the beginning and go through your night... let's take it step-by-step.

Before The Reception Starts
Make sure you have arranged with your hotel/reception hall for the arrival of your vendors, especially the DJ. You'll want to make sure he has free parking for the evening, and can park at a location close to where he will have to unload equipment. If he cannot park close, at least make sure he can get as close as possible to the location for unloading.

Another important thing: make sure there is ramped or elevator access to your reception location. Many DJs will charge extra even if they have to go up one stair. This is because while most equipment is extremely heavy, the DJ can move it easily if it's on wheels. When he comes to stairs, he will need assistance. A DJ may have to hire extra help to load equipment up stairs, or over curbs. Do not expect "someone from the hotel" or one of your guests to assist- most DJs will politely decline because of liability reasons.

If your DJ needs a table, the hall/hotel should have no problem with this. Have your caterer decorate the table with linens to match your guests' tables, ready at least one hour before your start time. If your DJ is using a lighting system or light show, he will need two separate-circuit outlets (not just two outlets, they must be on separate circuits so they will not trip a breaker). More extensive light shows may need special electric requirements, check with your hall to make sure.

Reception Room Set-Up
You would be surprised at how many venues I go to, and the hotel staff or reception hall does not know how to properly set up a room. The DJ table should be directly bordering the dance floor, so he has a complete view of the room (preferably not near the bar).

I cannot tell you how many times I have gotten to a hall where the hotel staff has put the DJ table in a corner, or worse yet, between guest tables and the dance floor. The DJ is your Host and MC, he should not be tucked away out of sight. If you place the DJ behind guest tables, you will hear from those guests all night about "how loud the music is." Check out these examples:

Of course, these are only a few examples, and sometimes the room you have may not be a perfect setup. By using these as a guide you will probably be able to get as close as possible.

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Music Selection
No doubt you will want to have some input with your DJ about your music choices for your day. The featured dances (First Dance, Bride/Father Dance, etc are covered under my Wedding Reception Planning Worksheet, available at the Bridal Foundation.Org

I like to understand what type of music the couple really likes. This way, I will know what tastes they have, but it also leaves options open for the DJ to "read" the crowd, take requests, and generally keep the party moving along.

I have had brides that have submitted over 100 songs to be played at a reception. This is not feasible- the math doesn't work. For example: A four-hour reception: Arrival and dinner will last approximately 90 minutes. With time out for toasts, featured dances, etc, your typical 4-hour reception will have about two good hours of dancing (maybe two and a half). The average song length is 3.5 minutes, working out to about 17 songs per hour. This equals about 35-45 songs per reception.

The Human Jukebox
Do not make the mistake of insisting certain songs being played at certain times, or to give the DJ a list of 40 songs to be played "in that order."  The problem arises if: the DJ is sticking to you list and no one is dancing or responding. You really would not want the DJ continue with the list- he needs to have the flexibility to do his job.

There are also problems with a 40-50 song list where the DJ can play selections "in any order," but cannot deviate from the list. It again restrains the DJ too much for him to successfully do his job. Micromanaging the DJ is the same as being in the kitchen with the caterer telling them how to prepare the food. Relax- this is what you are paying for... the DJ is paid to know his stuff! If you absolutely insist on having total control on what music is played (and in what order), you may be happier hooking up an iPod and letting it play.

But I Want MY Music!
You and your friends and family may have definite tastes in certain music. Odds are, though, not everyone attending your reception likes the exact same thing. Your wedding is all about you. Your reception is, too, but it's more about your guests celebrating your day. Don't make the mistake of letting you ego get in the way and thinking "It's my day and I don't care what anyone thinks! I'm going to do it my way!" If this is the case, and you just can't get past it, you would probably be better off eloping in Las Vegas. To a certain extent, it is about your guests.

For example, once in a while the groom does not want to do that "special dance" with their mom (or dads, for the brides). The excuse usually is something like "I don't dance that well" or "I don't feel comfortable". Those dances aren't really for the bride or groom, anyway. It's about honoring your parents for being part of your special day.

Emotions run high during this very special day of your life. If you really want your guests to attend a wedding they will remember forever, remember them, too.

Interactive Stuff
Most of the interactive activities such as blow-up guitars, funny glasses, and balloons have been used to death. So much so that I never get requests for them now. Especially at weddings, the interactive DJ nowadays is more subtle and focused.

One of the biggest and most exciting things at Receptions is a spectacular event called the Kiss Goodnight®. It can be acheived relatively easily, and without much effort at all. However, your guests will be talking about it for months. The Kiss Goodnight® and other great interactive ideas available at the Bridal Foundation.Org

Dancing
As I plainly state on my website, no one can guarantee your guests will dance. There may be DJs out there who claim they can, but no one can control how someone else feels or acts.

• SECRET- There are many ways to set the mood if you think have a tough crowd. The three things you want to achieve are: Having a hard-surfaced dance floor, (not carpet); dimming the lights- darker is better; and having the music at a loud, but not uncomfortable, level.

Why so? Number one, people are reluctant to dance on carpet. The subliminal message is not to dance. "If there is no dance floor, dancing is not appropriate" is what the message says.

Number two, having the room as dark as possible makes people less self-conscious. Notice how sometimes folks are reluctant to be first on the dance floor? The same principle applies here. If people feel other guests are not staring or looking at them, they are more apt to "get comfortable" out there. This is why receptions at night already have something going for them in a "party" sense. An afternoon wedding, at a Country Club with beautiful views of the golf course, can be wonderful. But it does not set the mood for dancing. Your DJ will have to work a little harder.

Number three, the music should be loud enough so your guests do not hear their footsteps, or dancing steps, on the floor. That's right, it goes back to the old self-conscious thing. The majority of people do not consider themselves to be professional dancers, and if they can feel the beat of the music, they are less timid to "cut loose"

Other Secrets to People Dancing
What other things help get people on the dance floor? The old hard-and-fast rule applies here as well: an open bar can't hurt. Alcohol simply lets people act sillier.

After your featured dances, have your DJ play a "bridal dance." This should be a slow song where everyone present is invited to join you to "start your night out right." Immediately after your slow-moving bridal dance, the DJ can play a popular fast "dance" selection. If the bride and groom remain on the floor, at least for this one song, you'll be amazed at how many of your guests will stay with you. If you go to sit right down, many of your guests will follow.

Food and the DJ
There is a constant debate among professional DJs about getting fed on the job. Honestly, there is no right answer, but I can give you an informed opinion of my own.

It is expected for you to provide a meal to your photographer and videographer. They are spending the majority of their day with you, and they need to eat like everyone else. With the DJ, it's a little different.

The DJ is not with you the entire day, so the case can be made not to provide a meal, and that is perfectly fine. However, it is a nice gesture, and every DJ I know would certainly appreciate the thought. Sometimes, the caterer, without asking you, will simply give a meal to the DJ. If you are inclined to provide a meal to your DJ, keep in mind the he will probably not want to eat "on-stage" in front of your guests. Just let your caterer know if you want to give the DJ a meal, and he can enjoy it in the kitchen or another room.

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CHAPTER EIGHT

YOUR DJ and OTHER VENDORS
Working Well With Others
You should expect your DJ to be in constant communication with other vendors present at your reception. Since the DJ really is the Host once the reception starts, it is common for him to touch base with the caterer to make sure the toast is ready to go, along with other events like the beginning of dinner and your cake cutting.

I Don't Want To Miss a Thing
More importantly, it is crucial for the DJ to talk to your photographer/videographer. The last thing you want is for the photographer to miss the cake cutting (because he was out of the room) and the DJ proceeds without warning him about what was coming up. Of course, it is ultimately not the DJ's responsibility if the photographer misses something, but working in harmony is the best way to do things.

Watch Out For Lights!
If you are hiring a professional videographer for your day, don't forget to ask: "How will you make sure there is enough light?"

Remember, one of the things we talked about was having a low light level at your reception to set the correct mood. Most professional video equipment nowadays can film in low light, or they are able to have mini-floodlights mounted to the top of the camera.

Be very careful about a videographer who wants to leave on more lights than necessary in the reception hall- it will damper your guests desire to party. Fluorescent lights should especially be avoided; most people associate these with working in the office. (Not a feeling you want on your wedding day!)

Also be wary if the videographer wants to use large, stationary floodlights on tripods to direct light at the dance floor, or your guests. It is even worse if you paid for a light show from the DJ, in which case the floodlights will render it effectively useless (this is the same if you leave more lights on than necessary in the hall).

Am I picking on videographers? Maybe. The professional ones understand to be as unobtrusive as possible. Because a huge floodlight can put a foul mood into the guests, it is easy to transfer that feeling into "the DJ isn't doing a good job" and it will reflect on your entire party.

CONCLUSION

Wrapping it All Up
Now you are the professional. You can consider yourself "armed and dangerous" about the once confusing world of trying to hire a Disc Jockey for your wedding.

Thanks again for reading this excerpt. Don't forget, the rest of the information in this article is available at the Bridal Foundation.Org. Now get out there and plan your wedding!